'Easy Choices - Hard Life, Hard Choices - Easy Life'. ~ Jerzy Gregorek
Pressing pause, breathing, being & living.
I was recently told I speak from the heart, I've sat with these words and my over analysing mind has questioned time and time again is this a good or bad thing? I've also been told by someone very recently that i'm the most normal person they know. So when questioning my choices of pressing pause on my business, life and listening to my gut by recognising and acting on the fact I do not want to be a human DOING and BUSY for the sake of BUSY I've realised speaking from my heart makes me, me.
COVID shook my little core, which in a sense is universal, however it was also a time to stop, reflect and realise I'm 120% burnout. Being a mum, wife, coach, student, friend, daughter, sister, HUMAN all come at a cost and my life was simply so out of balance and frankly there was not a lot of joy because there were no boundaries between any of the hats I was wearing or time for my cup to be filled so I could show up with an abundance for everything and everyone.
This is not to be confused with lack of passion or a love of all these things that make me, me its about finding a balance for all the pieces of the puzzle and fundamently not rushing back to BUSY because im expected to show up. At the crux of it truth be told, I am forever telling my clients to slow down and nuture their wholeself - which sounds like im an airy fairy type, which I can confirm I am not, but ultimately I was not living those values because I was on the Hampster Wheel; and well it seems it took a pandemic for the AHHH HAAA moment to occur.
Last week was hard pressing pause on my business, observers may think im nuts, which potentially there's an element of that, however what I've come to understand is that the road to happiness / success is never linear or without obstacles, burnout is a real thing and putting yourself first sometimes is not selfish, its a 100% necessary. The words to articulate my thoughts have been so scrambled until today when I took myself for a run in the middle of nowhere; I don't run for speed, distance or a PB but for headspace and the pure joy of being present with myself and today it seems for clarity, ironic that it is Global Running Day.
So the next little while is about filling my cup, going within, which suits my introverted personality (ill save that for another post) going bush, reading, listening, learning, being present and surrounding myself with things that bring me joy, like running, reading and creating a balance that I can sustain so I can wear all the hats I love to.
Whilst MOVE version 2 is currently manifesting, MOVE version 1 bought many lessons, some good, some bad, but had I never tried, I'd never have known and for every inch of burnout I am grateful I had the gumption to try.
If you have found heart in this and don't wish to rush back to BUSY, know you have not failed or are a failure, you have simply jumped off the Hampster Wheel and I hope you find resolve in that you're not alone and are taking postive steps to create the life you want.
'Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path'
Image by Natalie Davies Photography